dan allen | comedian, poet, and scientific philosopher |

October 12, 2004

The Deadly Danger of Acid Use

The government continues to warn people against the recreational use of acid. Recently, they published the "1971 Autopsy Report of Jim Morrison" from The Doors. Morrison was 28 years old at the time of his death. High levels of deoxyribonucleic acid was found saturated throughout his body.

One forensic technician callously stated, "It was like God made him with it (the aforementioned acid)."

For more information on the side effects of deoxyribonucleic acid: Click here

2 Comments:

Or you could've taken off your license plate, scratched out the vin # on the inside of windshield window & drivers side door & left the car right there for some other sucker to take it off your hands. Then took the bus, train or subway home, never to worry about that somofbitchin car again.

By Anonymous, at 11/15/2004 12:17:00 PM
OOPS THIS COMMENT WAS SUPPOSE TO GO WITH "WHAT A GREAT FUCKING DAY" POSTING. SORRY!!!!!

By Anonymous, at 11/15/2004 12:27:00 PM

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dan·ism - (n)

a principal philosophy and system of religion of Astoria, Queens based upon the teachings of a guy named Danocrates Allenopolos in the 21st century.

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My battery charger is a necromancer.

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Photographic memory is an outdated technology.

How did they describe a person who had a photographic memory prior to 1827?

I refuse to drink tap water, unless it’s disguised in a water fountain or as an ice cube.

If you eat a mermaid, are you considered a cannibal or a sushi lover?

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I need to work on my quads, my agent called me and said they needed a leg model for a film about FDR.

Eating an unwashed strawberry is like blowing a Mexican.

Autodidacts become hyperpolysyllabicsesquipedalianist because they are intellectually insecure.