I've switched to a NEW and IMPROVED blog: www.taoofdan.com
posted by dan allen at
1/01/2006
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dan allen | comedian | poet | scientific philosopher |
My name is Dan Allen.
I am a comedian and writer based in New York City.
Here you will find my ramblings and a porthole to my chemically imbalanced brain. Feel free to leave your comments to be viewed by fellow Earthlings. Caveat lector!
www.taoofdan.com
Check out a clip from my Comedy Central's Premium Blend or my OFFICIAL web site:
www.thedanallenshow.com
Read my interview with gothamist™.
Become Dan's friend on MySpace
dan·ism - (n)
- a principal philosophy and system of religion of Astoria, Queens based upon the teachings of a guy named Danocrates Allenopolos in the 21st century.
- Never eat cotton candy in the rain.
- My battery charger is a necromancer.
- Do healthy vampires prey on vegans?
- An annoying German designer is called a deutschbag.
- Spanish dictionaries should be called Mexicons.
- I'm writing a biography about Kevin Bacon in the sixth person.
- Photographic memory is an outdated technology.
- How did they describe a person who had a photographic memory prior to 1827?
- I refuse to drink tap water, unless it’s disguised in a water fountain or as an ice cube.
- If you eat a mermaid, are you considered a cannibal or a sushi lover?
- Do cucumber farmers eventually become gay?
- I thought I was intelligent, but I have to spell-check Einstein's name.
- If pediatricians are doctors who treat children and pedophiles are adults who are attracted to children then pedestrians are people who ride children.
- Are balloons appropriate at a funeral? I guess you send black ones or chocolates in a coffin-shaped box.
- I need to work on my quads, my agent called me and said they needed a leg model for a film about FDR.
- Eating an unwashed strawberry is like blowing a Mexican.
- Autodidacts become hyperpolysyllabicsesquipedalianist because they are intellectually insecure.
- Never eat cotton candy in the rain.
ode to a chicken bouillon
- I am a chicken bouillon
- Square
- Unmoving
- A flavored crouton
- Wrapped in tin foil
- Sealed in a jar
- Soup potential
- Some people are minestrone
- Some people are chowder
- I am broth to be
- Give me water and set me free
- Square
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tales of yore
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